TRANQUILIZERS.

Bipolar Disorder is a controllable disease. It is not curable. We have to take medication for the rest of  our lives. 

Working when the disease is not under control, and we are going through a bout of depression can be very challenging. We are under constant stress, that doesn't leave us for a minute. How do we cope? I was tempted to take a tranquilizer to ease the constant pressure. Not always did I get them easily. So I had to grit my teeth and carry on.

But if these pills were easily available, then I would take a high dose to get rid of the depression. I was medicating myself without the doctor's advice and this is dangerous. Once only did they help me to get rid of the depression. When I came out of the low, I weaned myself away from this drug. Things went back to normal.

But these tranquilizers, which the doctors prescribe for sleep in the night at the right dose do not always help you during the day. They just make you dopey which makes work difficult. Neither do they cure your depression. 

All I wanted to do when I got acutely depressed was to sleep. I would have been happy to sleep through my depression. But things don't work that way. If it is our karma to suffer, we suffer. The situation went from bad to worse and I  became suicidal. I left my job as I was unable to cope.

I came out of my depression with the right treatment. But since then I have taken tranquilizers with a great deal of caution . I take them as per the doctor's advice only. An overdose can be fatal.