My son was five years old when my marriage broke up. I had to leave my husband's home and shift over to my parent's place. My sister and brother in law lived with my parents. Though I was working I earned very little. My family supported me during this difficult phase of my life.
I thought that my son was too young to react to the situation. That he would get over it quickly. After all young children were resilient. I may have been wrong.
My son had been very close to his father when the marriage came to an end. Maybe he missed him a lot. I had given my husband total freedom to visit his son whenever he liked and for however long he wished to. There had been no formal divorce. Only a separation. But somehow he got alienated from his son. He rarely visited him.
Meanwhile my brother in law adopted my son. I thought that since my son had found a paternal figure in his life, he would not be affected by the broken marriage. I was wrong.
From the age of eight, he got into wrong company. He started stealing, telling lies and cutting school. He was an extremely poor student. Though I tried to teach him, he easily got bored and lost his concentration. He just would not pay attention. He was intelligent but it was really difficult to teach him.
When he was thirteen years old, he failed his eighth standard exams. He had to repeat the class. I was very disappointed, since I had spent a lot of time and energy coaching him.
Then one day he came home with a letter from his school in his hand. The school had expelled him! He went to school in his school bus. He would get down near a cyber cafe and play games till school came to an end. Then he would climb back into the bus and come home as if nothing had happened. He had not attended school for a whole month! The school should have intimated us when he didn't turn up after a week. But most probably, they didn't want him because he had failed.
I sent him to a psychiatrist. I no longer knew how to deal with my son. I desperately needed some help. He was diagnosed with a Attention Deficit Disorder. The doctor said he would not be able to study farther. He would have to acquire some skill, like that of an electrician or a carpenter.
We were all shocked! Take him out of school?! Then my brother in law said,
"No son of mine will remain uneducated. He will continue schooling despite of what the doctor said."
So the hunt for a new school began. I was absent during this period of my son's life as i succumbed to a very bad attack of Depression. It took me two and a half years to recover and I had to be sent to a rehab for three years. I missed out on some of the most vital years of his life when he was going through his teenage years. He, like all teenagers, started rebelling. He had lost his father in his earlier years and now he had lost his mother as well. This may have had a profound effect in his life. And though my sister and brother in law did their best to look after him, he started doing everything wrong. He started sniffing glue. Then ha got hooked into Marijuana. He experimented with hard drugs like LSD.
After I came back from the rehab I was told that my brother in law and sister were facing some financial problems. I had to go back to my marriage. My son joined me after a few days because my brother in law was fed up with his bad behavior. My son was miserable to leave his former home. He rebelled even more. He got stoned with Marijuana and refused to go to school.
Now my son is twenty six years old. He does not work or study. He does nothing but play computer games the whole day long. He wants to become a grand master at these games but that is a gamble. He does nothing to earn his living. He is all right now since he has his father and mother to look after him. But I worry about his future.
I have only one solution to this problem. That he visits a psychiatrist again and gets rid of his disorder. Moreover he gets treated for his addiction of Marijuana. He is changing slowly. he is growing up and becoming aware of his responsibilities. I hope this treatment helps him to stand on his own feet. I can only hope.
I thought that my son was too young to react to the situation. That he would get over it quickly. After all young children were resilient. I may have been wrong.
My son had been very close to his father when the marriage came to an end. Maybe he missed him a lot. I had given my husband total freedom to visit his son whenever he liked and for however long he wished to. There had been no formal divorce. Only a separation. But somehow he got alienated from his son. He rarely visited him.
Meanwhile my brother in law adopted my son. I thought that since my son had found a paternal figure in his life, he would not be affected by the broken marriage. I was wrong.
From the age of eight, he got into wrong company. He started stealing, telling lies and cutting school. He was an extremely poor student. Though I tried to teach him, he easily got bored and lost his concentration. He just would not pay attention. He was intelligent but it was really difficult to teach him.
When he was thirteen years old, he failed his eighth standard exams. He had to repeat the class. I was very disappointed, since I had spent a lot of time and energy coaching him.
Then one day he came home with a letter from his school in his hand. The school had expelled him! He went to school in his school bus. He would get down near a cyber cafe and play games till school came to an end. Then he would climb back into the bus and come home as if nothing had happened. He had not attended school for a whole month! The school should have intimated us when he didn't turn up after a week. But most probably, they didn't want him because he had failed.
I sent him to a psychiatrist. I no longer knew how to deal with my son. I desperately needed some help. He was diagnosed with a Attention Deficit Disorder. The doctor said he would not be able to study farther. He would have to acquire some skill, like that of an electrician or a carpenter.
We were all shocked! Take him out of school?! Then my brother in law said,
"No son of mine will remain uneducated. He will continue schooling despite of what the doctor said."
So the hunt for a new school began. I was absent during this period of my son's life as i succumbed to a very bad attack of Depression. It took me two and a half years to recover and I had to be sent to a rehab for three years. I missed out on some of the most vital years of his life when he was going through his teenage years. He, like all teenagers, started rebelling. He had lost his father in his earlier years and now he had lost his mother as well. This may have had a profound effect in his life. And though my sister and brother in law did their best to look after him, he started doing everything wrong. He started sniffing glue. Then ha got hooked into Marijuana. He experimented with hard drugs like LSD.
After I came back from the rehab I was told that my brother in law and sister were facing some financial problems. I had to go back to my marriage. My son joined me after a few days because my brother in law was fed up with his bad behavior. My son was miserable to leave his former home. He rebelled even more. He got stoned with Marijuana and refused to go to school.
Now my son is twenty six years old. He does not work or study. He does nothing but play computer games the whole day long. He wants to become a grand master at these games but that is a gamble. He does nothing to earn his living. He is all right now since he has his father and mother to look after him. But I worry about his future.
I have only one solution to this problem. That he visits a psychiatrist again and gets rid of his disorder. Moreover he gets treated for his addiction of Marijuana. He is changing slowly. he is growing up and becoming aware of his responsibilities. I hope this treatment helps him to stand on his own feet. I can only hope.
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