MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE WITH CHANTING.

My sister taught me this philosophy. She said that chanting and praying would fulfill my wishes. Of course, no philosophy is as simple as all that. It requires utmost faith in this practice to bring me happiness.

I am not a person who is easily convinced. But I am always willing to try. So I started praying and chanting twice a day. Suddenly, i became lucky. I had written a book, which I had given for editing. It was taking forever, almost a year. I had just finished chanting when I got a message from the editor that the editing was finished. You may call this a coincidence, but it was definitely one of my main wishes. It got fulfilled.

Joyfully, I let my sister know about this. She warned me. Chanting was not some kind of magic. It didn't mean that all my wishes would come true. But if I was compassionate and helpful to other people, I would definitely be a happier person.

It is not a simple philosophy. It is a Buddhist teaching which might be difficult to follow at all times. It requires courage and wisdom. 

Compassion doesn't come easily either. If you resent somebody, you must consciously try to feel it for him or her. You must try to find a reason for their behavior. The reason might lie in their past which may not have been very happy.

To keep to the tenets of this philosophy may not be easy, but as you chant and pray these lines, you move towards harmony and happiness.

So I have taken to chanting every morning and evening. It gives me the support and optimism to go through the trials and tribulations in life. And my depression has come to an end at least for the time being.

TRANQUILIZERS.

Bipolar Disorder is a controllable disease. It is not curable. We have to take medication for the rest of  our lives. 

Working when the disease is not under control, and we are going through a bout of depression can be very challenging. We are under constant stress, that doesn't leave us for a minute. How do we cope? I was tempted to take a tranquilizer to ease the constant pressure. Not always did I get them easily. So I had to grit my teeth and carry on.

But if these pills were easily available, then I would take a high dose to get rid of the depression. I was medicating myself without the doctor's advice and this is dangerous. Once only did they help me to get rid of the depression. When I came out of the low, I weaned myself away from this drug. Things went back to normal.

But these tranquilizers, which the doctors prescribe for sleep in the night at the right dose do not always help you during the day. They just make you dopey which makes work difficult. Neither do they cure your depression. 

All I wanted to do when I got acutely depressed was to sleep. I would have been happy to sleep through my depression. But things don't work that way. If it is our karma to suffer, we suffer. The situation went from bad to worse and I  became suicidal. I left my job as I was unable to cope.

I came out of my depression with the right treatment. But since then I have taken tranquilizers with a great deal of caution . I take them as per the doctor's advice only. An overdose can be fatal.